Change has to come from the heart.
When we batter, badger, nag, or threaten a person, we are doing two things:
1) We are in effect saying to God: “Sorry God, I can handle it from here, I don’t need your help in effecting change in this person.” This is the opposite of acting out of faith and does not leave any room for the Holy Spirit to work.
2) God is Spirit, and he communicates to us spiritually via our spirit and into our heart. His is the “still small voice”. When a person is being inundated with offensive words, it will take some time for the person to get past the offensive words and get back to a point where they are not hardened to God’s voice. Badgering hardens the heart and even if the person wants to change, constantly nagging can slow them down while they deal with the nagging or threatenings.
Every time you interfere, you prolong the behavior. As soon as you step back in faith that God will take care of it, then the Holy Spirit can go to work.
I have been on both sides of this issue. I hate to admit that there’s been times that I’ve been judgemental and badgering. It is something I try to be very concious of now. Also, I’ve been the target of nagging and threats. I had to learn to not use the other person’s nagging as an excuse, but instead to look past it and try to see what the real source of the problem is.