A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
Too often people say things like “I’m not trying to make you mad, but …” or “I don’t mean to be rude, but …”.
These are statements meant to give the speaker a pass to speak grievous words and then blame the other person for getting upset.
Don’t make statements that are lies meant to cover up your responsibility for what you say. We need to take responsibility for our part of the conversation.
If you are not out to make someone angry, then don’t!
If you don’t mean to be rude, then don’t!
We can be truthful, firm, and uncompromising without being a jerk. We need to speak the truth, plainly, in love, and without harshness, hatefulness, or grievous words.
If someone rejects what we say, let it be because they are offended by the truth and not how we deliver it.